WORLD WAR T

WORLD WAR T 

If the world would have known how accurate the film World War Z would turn out to be everyone would have caught on sooner to the beginning of the real war that transpired.

What we now know as World War T, a war that wiped out over half the population of Earth, started  as skirmishes among normal folks over toilet paper.

Everyone was worried that the virus that was rapidly spreading over the earth, the corona virus, would have everyone trapped in their homes. The virus was deadly. The virus was fast moving. If it hit an area near you, the only thing you could do was stay at home and hide from it.

So, as human beings always do, they panicked. Then they turned on one another. The fighting over toilet paper became so severe that people trusted no one. So no one communicated with others unless they had to. The news, always biased, began to go political with who was to blame for the toilet paper crisis. the Democrats wanted to give everyone free toilet paper; the Republicans wanted to make everyone pay their fair share for toilet paper. And no one actually knew what any of it meant.

What they suspected though was that the political elite had plenty of  toilet paper.

The first world leader was assassinated as he went on a tour of a toilet paper factory. The workers took out all of the guys body guards. Then they choked the fellow to death with strands of toilet paper.

This first assassination set off many more.

The problem with everyone fighting one another was that no one was paying any attention to the people dying from corona virus.

Viruses infect hosts with the intent of replicating and spreading. Viruses are the most extreme examples of survival of the fittest. Viruses have but one goal to spread.

Corona virus spread fast. So, by the time it killed you, you had already spread it to numerous other people. To the virus, you were not needed to survive long. At least that was the initial theory.

By the time the corona zombies began to show up, humans were so divided that mounting any type of defense against them was almost impossible.

They quickly took down whole cities. Unlike the movies, guns wouldn't work against the corona zombies. Shoot them in the head all you liked. Nothing could stop them. And their thing wasn't to eat you. They just wanted to scratch or bite you to pass the virus on to you. After only six months of the arrival of the corona zombies, the remaining humans were desperate to survive.

And out of that desperation came inspiration.

People started to film the zombies to attempt to find out what they were vulnerable to. And then people started to recognized little patterns.

For some reason the zombies were afraid of being anywhere near toilet paper. The virus inside the creatures, no doubt, knew that humans used toilet paper to expel the virus from their bodies.

The first corona proof suits were crude in design but they worked. You could wear them and the zombies would run from you.

Then some enterprising, and maybe a little crazy, bastard actually killed a corona zombie with toilet paper. And then it was on.

The first weapons were crude swords made from toilet paper rolls. Crude, yes, but they worked.

Then others got involved and began to create even more advanced weapons.

These systems gave humans a fighting chance. Slowly our species began to have hope again. But the zombies were resourceful. And they could always catch people when they were vulnerable.

The corona zombies were still winning.

Until the arrival of the toilet paper rocket launcher. The first time the weapon was used hundreds of zombies were wiped out by a single gunner. The advancement in toilet paper weaponry kept on moving forward. 

The toilet paper grenade almost completely sealed the fates of the remaining zombies. They were no match for the fragmenting toilet paper shards that would fly off of the grenades. One grenade, in a crowd of zombies, could do them all in.

Then came the toilet paper blower. 

And the corona zombies were all but finished. Those that remained were finished off with these weapons and a few more that had been developed near the end of the conflict for our world. One of the best devices for the average person was the Corona Devastator.

A Molotov Cocktail with distilled toilet paper gas and a toilet paper fuse. Worked perfectly. It derived it's name from the fact that it was used with corona beer bottles. Humans' being funny as they went about the task of getting rid of corona zombies.

Yes, over half the population of our world was wiped out by the corona virus and it's zombies. But we figured the virus out and took it's soldiers down.

The war will forever be known as World War T. Without the use of high level toilet paper mechanics and engineering none of us would have made it. 

We started out fighting one another for toilet paper. We ended up needing the toilet paper to fight off the zombies.

And did I mention that even Thor showed up to help near the end?? Well, he did. And I have the proof.